Ravings From The Bog


Vanity Fair Interview
August 11, 2008, 10:20 am
Filed under: Family, Fun, Life | Tags: , ,

Having some time on my hands and while recovering from the dreaded Manflu, I was browsing an old Vanity Fair magazine. As I’ll never ever be interviewed for the Proust Questionnaire (inside back page of every issue), and as my childhood dream was to be a journalist, I’ll need to interview myself. Here goes:

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Not having to worry about the safety of my children.

What is your greatest fear?

I’ll die before my wife and children have a secure future.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I have the attention span of a gnat.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Snobbery

What is your greatest extravagance?

The waste of time.

What is your current state of mind?

Frenzied.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Sobriety

On what occasion do you lie?

Whenever the truth is irrelevant.

Which living person do you most despise?

Ariel Sharon

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Wit.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Intelligence.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

In a minute!

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Geraldine, my wife.

When and where were you happiest?

1987, 1991 and 2001, at the birth of my three children.

Which talent would you most like to have?

The ability to manage time profitably.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I would become svelte.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Working at my level with poor qualifications.

If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what do you think it would be?

Knowing my luck, a mollusc!

What is your most treasured possession?

My house.

What do you regard as the lowest form of misery?

Homelessness.

What is your most marked characteristic?

Procrastination.

What do you most value in your friends?

Honesty.

Who are your heroes in real life?

Anyone who takes care of the mentally ill or the elderly.

What is it that you most dislike?

Bigotry.

What is your greatest regret?

Not working harder at school.

How would you like to die?

Exhausted in my sleep, clutching an empty bottle of JD, between Penelope Cruz and Kristin Scott-Thomas.

What is your motto?

There’s a little bit of quality in everything I do.

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